Day 14 of Misery

I want to cry. Monday I broke down and I did. I called my friend Patty and let it all out. It felt good. Some days I just don't know how to continue. Part of me wants to throw in the towel, eat what ever I want, and at least have fun food if I am going to feel miserable anyhow. But I know if I give up in just one area, I will give up completely.

Today is one of those days I wish I could have just stayed in bed, curled up in a little ball, and gone back to sleep until it's all over. My stomach feels like it's going to explode, my lower back hurts, I feel like I am retaining 10 lbs of water in my lower body alone, and I have that all over heavy feeling. Not as in 'I am fat' but like I am carrying a backpack with an extra 50 lbs where ever I go.

I got an email from a woman who beat a very aggressive form of cancer through nutrition and supplements. It gave me hope. If she can beat cancer, surely I can beat candida albicans, parasites, and PMS. The latter most likely caused by the former. I just wish it didn't take so long and it would be easier while I am going through the course of healing.

On a positive note, I could quite possibly get a job offer any day now. It is down to me and one other applicant. The hiring manager (Audrey) contacted one of my co-workers (the one who is leaving) last night. He is the one who originally told me about the position and has worked with Audrey before. She asked him some more questions about me and he spoke very highly of me. It made me feel good. Even if I don't get the offer, I feel good to have come this far in the selection process considering the large number of unemployed IT people out there.